McFadden Tries 'Skinny Jeans Chic' and Fails...

Oh Dearie Me. Poor aul Brian 'take me serious, I'm an artist' McFadden hasn't got it going on in the fashion stakes. Actually, he never did. Lately, he's been trying to adopt the Russell Brand Skinny Jeans look and missing-the-mark by a mile. Sorry. By several thousand miles...

Brian McFadden

Ever since Brian McFarmyard left his over-groomed partners yonder at camp Westlife he's been struggling to find his musical identity and also his personal identity. Perhaps he looks in the mirror each night and says: "Who am I? Who do they think I am? Do they get me?" We don't know, but we care Brian. We care.

Brian McFadden

Since leaving Westlife 'B' has been trying-out a few looks. We went with him at the start - when he went all beardy and long greasy hair, and lost about 9000 Stone. But that look didn't go down well with his ultimo-perfecto moth Delta Goodrem. So now he flits between that old look and this new 'skinny jeans chic' vibe.

Brian McFadden

Brian. It's not cutting the mustard. You're an Irish man. There is only one 'chic' we do well and that's 'traveller chic'. Brad Pitt kicked it off in Snatch. Now Colin Farrell is rockin' with it, Jonathan Rhys Meyers flirts and blows kisses with his enormous lips at it, so should you. Trilby hat, old jeans, stubble, beat-up boots and an overcoat. Sorted. This look here just makes you look like you have a massive head and take a size 16 shoe. Please stop.