Two Thirds of Assketeers Won't Pose For ShowBiz.ie...

Those of you with a weak disposition please look away now, the following item is nothing if not harrowing. Nay, horror-ing... Yesterday one of our meek and mild snappers bumped into 2/3 of The Assketeers (Assets 3 top photocall models as named by YOU lot) in the middle of a stormy gale at St Stephens Green Shopping Centre and they point-blank refused to pose-up for fotees on the grounds that they were TOLD never to pose for ShowBiz.ie. Ever. SHOCKER! Yes folks, it is now completely illegal for photocall gals Georgia Salpa and Nadia Forde to pose for our pitiful weak kneed photographers. Hopefully Louise Kavanagh won't leave us. We honestly couldn't go on without Louise...

Georgia Salpa, Nadia Forde

Picture the scene if you will people - a mild mannered ShowBiz.ie lensman going about his daily business in the city when he happens across the familiar faces of Georgia Salpa & Nadia Forde outside St Stephens Green Shopping Centre. He politely asks (grovels) the two bikini models to pose for a quick piccy only to be shocked by the revelation that they have been told from on high NOT to sit-up and smile for ShowBiz.ie! Yup, you guessed it, we're blanked. But, sure doesn't the world know we reared a black ram at our own breast. Exiled, we are. Totally devo.

Georgia Salpa, Nadia Forde

Wait there. Exactly WHO told our Georgie & Nadzer not to pose for us? Was it those NAMA-ites sitting on their fat wallets over in Leinster House? Was it those feckin’ EU pencil pushers pondering about pandering over in Brussels? Was it that cheating French ball mauler Thierry Henry? Or was it in fact Oliver Cromwell? Truth is we don't know. But car-azy conspiracy theories are flying around this town as we speak... Word is this one goes all the way to the fricken top.

Georgia Salpa, Nadia Forde

In fact peeps, if the sad day comes when all the wee Irish models and social butterfly types won't do that little cheesy teapot pose for ShowBiz.ie anymore then we may as well hang-up our collective trilby hat and go back to selling Swedish-made Penis Enlargers door-to-door. Imagine that if you will – a hallowed and prestigious Irish institution such as ours forced to the wall by a conspiracy made of photocall queens. We know, we know, it's too mentally devastating to even begin to contemplate. ShowBiz.ie is akin to Irish culture similarly to Amhran na bhFiann, the G.A.A., or even The Proclamation (wharrever the fook dat is!).

Georgia Salpa

So there you have it folks, seemly 2 out of the 3 Assketeers aint gonna smile for our Dickensian toothed snappers anymore - what the hell would Model A1 say? But ne'er you worry - even though 2 of our 3 fav Assets babes wouldn't pose for us as they faced a moist gale outside the St Stephens Green Shopping Centre yesterday, ermmm, we snapped them anyways... Huzzah! We're a wily bunch so we are. Like The A Team or McGiver... Hopefully all 3 Assketeers will one day forgive us our sins and come back to the ShowBiz.ie fold. You know it makes sense when you're here you're at your Auntie's.